Love ~ Sex ~ Relationships

The Place For Lovers

Mar
13

3 Things a Relationship Needs to Survive

Posted by Luvy Love

3 Things a Relationship Needs to Survive

Submitted by Naomi Cubillos

A perfect relationship is only possible in fairytales. In the real world relationships have their good times as well as bad. Though a happy relationship is possible, it does not just happen. The people involved must be willing to work together in order to maintain that happiness. There are three major things that a relationship must have in order to survive all the ups and downs that life throws at us. These things are: trust, companionship, and intimacy.

Trust is a big factor in any relationship. It can change the outcome of a situation drastically. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Let’s compare two relationships that are in the same situation.

Couple #1 trusts each other and
Couple #2 does not trust one another

In both relationships, one person is invited to go out for dinner and drinks with co-workers. In the relationship where there is no trust, the other partner may not want their love to go out with their co-workers fearing they might cheat on them or fearing they are lying about the situation completely. They might feel abandoned by their partner for not taking them along. All sorts of different issues will arise that stem from the main problem, which is that there is no trust. In a trusting relationship, the other partner will allow their loved one to have the opportunity to go out with their friends without fearing that they will be cheated on or are being lied to. Though they might feel like keeping their loved one all to themselves, they know that doing this will only harm the relationship. The same situation can go two totally different ways when one person does not trust the other. When you doubt the person you are with, arguments will be plentiful and silent treatments will never stop. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If trust has been broken, it is hard to regain it, but it is possible with a lot of hard work and time.

Companionship is being able to be yourself with your partner and laugh. It is about being able to express any worries and fears without being judged. Companionship is what allows people to grow old together without killing each other. Some people stay together out of convenience and not love. This can lead to much unhappiness. Life will be more stressful and less fulfilling. The home may become a place of avoidance instead of a place of rest and safety. Couples who make the statement, “He/She is my best friend,” have companionship in their relationship.

Last, but definitely not least is intimacy. This is what goes on behind closed doors in the bedroom. Sometimes we are raised not to talk about sex, and in even some cases we are raised to not enjoy sex. This is such a big problem due to the fact that humans were created in mind and body to have and enjoy sex. Men are hard wired to think about sex more often than women, just as women are wired to be more emotional than men. But the key to this, as in all aspects of life, is to find balance. If you are not finding yourselves fulfilled in the bedroom, take a deep honest look at what the problem or problems may be and think of some solutions. This process needs to be done together and both people must be willing to be open and truthful with one another no matter how embarrassing it might feel at first.
If you are having a hard time opening up or are finding it difficult to get your point of view across, one solution is to go to couple’s therapy. Though many people don’t want to discuss their issues with a counselor or therapist, sometimes this is the jump-start they need to get their relationship back on track. Some people view counseling as a sign of weakness and that it is not useful, but counseling can improve one’s relationship as well as their life experience. It helps to have someone look at the problem from the outside in, with no biases. Sometimes solutions will arise that would not have been thought of by the couple alone. Every person is unique and it is up to you to decide what steps need to be taken in order for your relationship to survive. If both people are willing and dedicated to making the relationship work, then anything is possible.

Sources:

7 Stages of a Healthy Relationship

What your marriage needs to survive. Stephen J. Johnson Ph.D. MFT.


Aug
16

Sex Versus Love

Posted by Luvy Love

Sex Versus Love

Yesterday Frederick submitted a ‘Poem’ — Hmmmm, I don’t know? I suppose quite interesting! Not sure if I would call it a Poem though. ;-)

Love Versus Sex

Love prolongs life
Sex shortens it.

Love is something upbeat
Sex is plummeting down.

Sex is larger than life
Love is life itself, no frills attached.

Love is like saving money
Sex is like spending money.

Sex is chaos
Love is peace and order.

Love raises self esteem
Sex makes you vulnerable.

Sex is selfishness
Love is toleration.

Love is exchanging energy
Sex is wasting it.

Sex is hell on earth
Love is heaven on earth.

Sex is sleepless nights
Love is sweet dreams.

Sex is a narcotic dependence
Love is detoxification.

Sex is spartan and redundant
Love is simple and quintessential.

Sex is commitment and chastity
Love is friendship and reminiscence.

So now, read it again, but turn it around and replace “Love for Sex” and FEEL how different it makes you feel.


Aug
16

Love and Time

Posted by Luvy Love

Love and Time

I LOVE this story…. isn’t this just lovely?

LOVE and TIME

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived:
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said:
“Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!”
“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.”
“Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice:

“Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder.

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who Helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

Only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.


Aug
08

ATTENTION – 1001 Ways to Be Romantic

Posted by Luvy Love

ATTENTION – 1001 Ways to Be Romantic

Well, I must say, this isn’t usually what I would read. As far as romance goes, I have believed that there is nothing anyone could tell me that I DON’T KNOW… and there was me who got somehow caught up in the book when I picked it up at a friends last weekend.

Romance has always been obvious to me, but I realised that I seemed to have ‘forgotten’ what the real ‘little’ things in life are that I value. So here I was… 1001 Ways to Be Romantic helped me to remember. I promise you, the book is exactly what it suggests and I got to say, make sure you got your notepad and your pen ready when you go through the book as there will be points you will want to write down. I did!

Dare I say, (and sorry), but this book is especially useful for you males out there and may be JUST what you are looking for. You should read it!

Click here to find out more or to order:

ALSO, TRY


Jul
31

The Meaning Of Love by Rumi

Posted by Luvy Love

The Meaning Of Love by Rumi

The word Love should be used when you you mean it. And if you mean it, you should say it a lot. But people forget. Jack has send me this. What a nice thing to receive in your inbox first thing in the morning. ;-)

The Meaning of Love

Both light and shadow
are the dance of Love.

Love has no cause;
it is the astrolabe of God’s secrets.

Lover and Loving are inseparable
and timeless.

Although I may try to describe Love
when I experience it I am speechless.

Although I may try to write about Love
I am rendered helpless;
my pen breaks and the paper slips away
at the ineffable place where Lover, Loving
and Loved are one.

Every moment is made glorious
by the light of Love.

~ Rumi


Jul
31

Love, Life and Life Lesson

Posted by Luvy Love

Love, Life and Life Lesson

Submitted by anonymous

There is a big life-lesson here and it made me think and re-consider some of my own thinking. Thought it be worth sharing it with you and hope it makes you think too.

This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE.

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why? ” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world !” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right… It’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?”

He said: ” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but….please allow me to explain the reasons further…..

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die … ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… And as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form …

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… AND THAT’S LIFE…


Jul
04

Van Morrison – Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

Posted by Luvy Love

Van Morrison – Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

Well, well, well. There is me sitting here not thinking about anything and just getting on with work. Totally focused and there it is. The song that brings back very nice (but also sad) once meaningful memories.

I DO love this song, so I am sharing it with you. Funny how things happen when you least expect them. ;-)

Happy Independence Day!!!!

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do

Oh the morning sun in all it’s glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
And you fill my life with laughter
You can make it better
Ease my troubles that’s what you do

There’s a love that’s divine
And it’s yours and it’s mine
Like the sun at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do

There’s a love that’s divine
And it’s yours and it’s mine
And it shines like the sun
At the end of the day we will give thanks
And pray to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do

Take away my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do
Fill my life with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do.

Aug
24

The Man Who Didn’t Believe In Love – by Don Miguel Ruiz

Posted by Luvy Love

The Man Who Didn’t Believe In Love – by Don Miguel Ruiz

I really enjoyed listening to this, especially as it actually explained a few things about the relationship I was in for over 8 years not so long ago. Similarities I tell you. Realtionships. Actually very simple really.

Sit back, listen and see what you think. You may find some similarities if not answers that surprise you.

Now, lets see if you’re an addict!

The Man Who Didn’t Believe In Love – by Don Miguel Ruiz

Related links:
“The Mastery of Love” an interview with Don Miguel Ruiz


AliExpress - One-year Old Celebration


Free Shipping

Aug
19

We cannot be happy with anyone else if we are not happy with ourselves

Posted by Luvy Love

We cannot be happy with anyone else if we are not happy with ourselves

We all know that relationships can be such a challenge, especially when life pulls us in opposite directions at the same time.

Isn’t it surprising how many people go through life not ever recognising that how they feel about other people is largely determined by how they feel towards themselves? If we are not comfortable within ourselves, we cannot be comfortable with anyone else.

Most peoples focus lies on how they are different from others as their personality feels the need to be unique and special . Differences hold the capacity to develop conflict, but at the same time, our Souls live through connection with others.

We are always challenged to grow above our personal preferences, so that we can discover how we and others are the same. Think about it, as the overall need lies in finding the balance of these two tendencies.


Aug
12

Loving Yourself is Empowering

Posted by Luvy Love

Loving Yourself is Empowering

Loving yourself is empowering! Making anybody else responsible for you feeling loved, making you feel loved and looking for it outside of yourself is disempowering. ONLY by loving yourself you grow to be independent.

I am sure that most of you have noticed that almost every time you switch on the radio you will most likely hear a song that talks about some kind of co-dependent love. There are THOUSANDS of songs out there!

Just a few examples here, how about “Diana Ross & Lionel Richie” – “My Endless Love” or “Celine Dion – “I’m everything I am because you loved me” and what about “Michael Bolton” – “Tell me how I am supposed to live without you”. YIKES! Who is going to believe that? Certainly not me!

Read the related link: How To Grow Independent By Loving Yourself


Match.com Online Dating