3 Things a Relationship Needs to Survive
Submitted by Naomi Cubillos
A perfect relationship is only possible in fairytales. In the real world relationships have their good times as well as bad. Though a happy relationship is possible, it does not just happen. The people involved must be willing to work together in order to maintain that happiness. There are three major things that a relationship must have in order to survive all the ups and downs that life throws at us. These things are: trust, companionship, and intimacy.
Trust is a big factor in any relationship. It can change the outcome of a situation drastically. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Let’s compare two relationships that are in the same situation.
Couple #1 trusts each other and
Couple #2 does not trust one another
In both relationships, one person is invited to go out for dinner and drinks with co-workers. In the relationship where there is no trust, the other partner may not want their love to go out with their co-workers fearing they might cheat on them or fearing they are lying about the situation completely. They might feel abandoned by their partner for not taking them along. All sorts of different issues will arise that stem from the main problem, which is that there is no trust. In a trusting relationship, the other partner will allow their loved one to have the opportunity to go out with their friends without fearing that they will be cheated on or are being lied to. Though they might feel like keeping their loved one all to themselves, they know that doing this will only harm the relationship. The same situation can go two totally different ways when one person does not trust the other. When you doubt the person you are with, arguments will be plentiful and silent treatments will never stop. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If trust has been broken, it is hard to regain it, but it is possible with a lot of hard work and time.
Companionship is being able to be yourself with your partner and laugh. It is about being able to express any worries and fears without being judged. Companionship is what allows people to grow old together without killing each other. Some people stay together out of convenience and not love. This can lead to much unhappiness. Life will be more stressful and less fulfilling. The home may become a place of avoidance instead of a place of rest and safety. Couples who make the statement, “He/She is my best friend,” have companionship in their relationship.
Last, but definitely not least is intimacy. This is what goes on behind closed doors in the bedroom. Sometimes we are raised not to talk about sex, and in even some cases we are raised to not enjoy sex. This is such a big problem due to the fact that humans were created in mind and body to have and enjoy sex. Men are hard wired to think about sex more often than women, just as women are wired to be more emotional than men. But the key to this, as in all aspects of life, is to find balance. If you are not finding yourselves fulfilled in the bedroom, take a deep honest look at what the problem or problems may be and think of some solutions. This process needs to be done together and both people must be willing to be open and truthful with one another no matter how embarrassing it might feel at first.
If you are having a hard time opening up or are finding it difficult to get your point of view across, one solution is to go to couple’s therapy. Though many people don’t want to discuss their issues with a counselor or therapist, sometimes this is the jump-start they need to get their relationship back on track. Some people view counseling as a sign of weakness and that it is not useful, but counseling can improve one’s relationship as well as their life experience. It helps to have someone look at the problem from the outside in, with no biases. Sometimes solutions will arise that would not have been thought of by the couple alone. Every person is unique and it is up to you to decide what steps need to be taken in order for your relationship to survive. If both people are willing and dedicated to making the relationship work, then anything is possible.