Love affairs. Who wants them? Only the phrase brings up all kinds of emotions in me.
Love affairs can be so many things, from wonderful to awful, from exciting to frightening, from glorious to hurtful.
For some love affairs can be the most destructive thing in the world, for others the most creative thing in the world.
Have you ever thought how it would be if no woman in the world would ever go out with a married man? And of course, same visa versa. I guess the divorce rate would drop drastically, don’t you think?
Question is, what makes us want to date someone who’s ‘taken’? Who’s already committed? Someone who’s married with a family? YES, someone who IS unavailable?
Is it the adventure? Romance? The excitement of something new? The thrill of the forbidden? Maybe even boredom and YES, is it just sex?
Where will it all end? And what about the many lives that can be destroyed? And even if it goes on for sometime and you get emotionally involved, your heart is on fire and than realise there is no future? Where will it leave you?
No-Strings Attached | The grass is always greener on the other side
Submitted by Katy Burns
It’s shocking, nut more than half of all married British men have or have had no-strings attached sex.
Hard to believe, but thousands of cheating spouses have signed up to websites like www.maritalaffair.co.uk or www.illicitencounters.com which make it easier than ever to arrange “extra-marital sex” activities in secret.
The Sun reporter Laura Stott went undercover to reveal the “dirty” world of husbands and to expose the many stories, the many lies they tell their wives.
Men feel trapped in their marriages, that’s why they are looking for affairs, for no-strings attached sex and oddly enough, some men enjoy sex especially with other married women knowing that their wives are busy enjoying family weekends a survey revealed.
Millie Jackson - Leftovers | Question is, WHO is getting the leftovers?
Well, I am not so sure about this one? Question is WHO is getting the ‘leftovers’? Her or the other?
Millie Jackson - Leftovers
Lyrics
Phillip, I know you said you`re leaving
But can`t we discuss this at all
Look, baby, there ain`t nothing to dicuss
I mean, you know, we been Through this a thousand times
Everything`s been said
You be leaving because
Of your son, right (that`s right)
And because of your son
That`s the reason you had your wife
Laying up here in my bed last week, right
The neighbours told me when I Went to Philadelphia, she was
Here the whole weekend
Just tell me something
You been married to her Been shacking with me
Who you feel you`re cheating on
Well, I don`t feel like I`m cheating on nobody
You know, I`m just
Going on home, that`s all
Wait a minute, the doorbell`s ringing
Lemme get the bell
Well, do say, right on time
Mrs. Jody again, what do you want
(My husband) well
You`re not getting him
(Oh, I`ll take him with me)
I know what you`re gonna take
You`re gonna take a good A-kicking
If you don`t get outta my house
(Well, I bought some
And I`m ready for yours)
I guess you brought the kid too, huh
(Yes, I did) well, listen
Let me tell you something
I want the both y`all out my house
I don`t wanna see none of you no more
And I wanna tell you something
Further this time, you understand me
I wanna ask you something
Tell me how do you feel
Knowing he`s my man
And the love he`s giving you
Is weak and second hand
Tell me, tell me, tell me now
How could you lay there
Stretched out in my bed
With my brand new nighty on
My rollers in your nappy head
Some girls, they
Got no pride at all, no
Some are just downright dirty
Some are just dogs
All you`re getting is my leftovers
You`re digging out a love I done picked over
You oughta leave my man alone
Find one of your own
Stop making the dog, girl
Scraping the bone, ow
It don`t bother me if the man
Give you a little bit of loving sometime
Cause, you see, I know
I he makes it good to you
It`s me that`s on his mind
But tell me, tell me
Tell me, tell me now
How could you forget, girl
The man left you for me and if
He ever decides to do it to you
It`s out of responsibility
I don`t see how some F
olks can be so dumb, no
You got the nerve to
Think you`re living good
But all you`re getting is crumbs
All you`re getting is my leftovers
You`re digging out a love
I done picked over
You oughta leave my man alone
Find one of your own
Stop making the dog, girl
Scraping the bone, ow
Leave him alone, now
Go and find a man of your own
Cause there ain`t nothing
Left of the man to see
You see, I done
Took everything you had
All you`re getting is my leftovers
You`re digging out of surplus garbage
Hey, leave him alone now
Go and find a man of
Your own this evening, girl
I know you look kinda bad but
There must be somebody
That wants you anyway
You oughta leave the man alone….
Infidelity is on the rise… Married BUT cheating!!!
I am sure there are many men (AND women) out there who have been there before and find that it doesn’t only create old familiar issues, it creates new once also. Of course, for some it’s a very confusing situation. But for others polyamory (more than one intimate partner at the same time) seems to work well.
How about you?
=> What meets your needs and desires?
=> What should a socially accepted relationship look like?
=> How do you feel about ‘open relationships’ versus ‘customised relationships?
=> Do you believe cheating is a SIN?
=> What about your own story? Do you have one to tell?
=> What’s your personal experience?
=> How would you feel being the ‘other’, the ‘bit on the side’?
=> What is there at the end of it?
=> How do you feel about polyamory?
And that also leaves the question about marriage. Do we really need government and legal institutions to confirm to us that our marriage is official?
I’d like to hear your thoughts/experiences/feelings on this - and believe me, I also have a story to tell.
CHEATING - What would you do if you were faced with this issue?
Sometimes we all face the ‘common’ dilemma that many friendships have to face. We find out that our friend’s partner was cheating. Have you told your friend? Were you honest? Did you pretend you weren’t aware and just got on with your life knowing what’s going on? What happened - and what were the consequences? Was it the end of the friendship?
Well, you decided not to tell. Do you have any regrets by not telling? If you could turn back the clock, would you tell again? Were you to scared to tell? Or was it that you thought some things are better not to be spoken about? Did your friend find out?
Has this happened to you? Did you ever find out? If you have, how did you react? What did you do?
But most of all - If it was you, who was cheated on, would you want someone to tell you? Would you want to know? This really is the question… !
Men will be bad mouthed, tarred and feathered for seeing a prostitute. And who knows, if he is married, maybe he should be for having broken his vows to his wife. Or some may think that he should even be locked away for seeing a hooker? And the question almost always comes up, what is up with those men who visit a prostitute? Why would he do such a incredible dumb thing? What is the attraction? Has it something to do with power? Maybe Escape? … or even self-sabotage?
If we look at it from a psychological point, it doesn’t matter much to a man where the prostitute comes from. Be it from a VIP Club, or a strip club. Even the costs involved has little to do with it. No matter how high the price.
The prostitute temporarily supplies a short lived ‘psychic’ factor. The relief of the conflict of responsibility and guilt. This appeals to the man. After they have made their payment, they experience that ‘she’ will still be totally care, be committed and devoted to him, to his happiness, pleasure and his satisfaction. It makes the prostitute kind of ‘irresistible’. And also, he doesn’t have to worry about pleasing ‘her’. He does not have to make her happy. Worry about her emotional state or her emotional demands. He can ‘give’ as he pleases. He can also take as he pleases. And they both know that there doesn’t need to be a mutual exchange. He can be totally selfish. If he decides, he can be aggressive, or passive and ‘she’ won’t be upset. ‘She’ will even ‘play’ and act aroused and is completely focused on ‘her customer‘. He has no responsibility for her whatsoever. It doesn’t matter if the prostitute is acting, as to be honest, he just likes to be the center of her world and the illusion of authenticity is more than enough for him.
Sometimes men belief that women are ‘high maintenance’ as well as helpless and men are physically weighted down by the feeling that they are responsible for a woman, that they are obliged to make her happy, look after her and they feel compelled to rather be in a relationship with a hooker. That is the only way for them to feel guild, responsibility and worry free.
That is what men may belief and these beliefs are reinforced by our culture and those beliefs are possibly formed in childhood. Quite often these beliefs are wrong. But sometimes when men have these feelings, they feel held back, inhibited, and pressurised in their sexual relationships. Men feel if they don’t give a lot they can’t get much out of a relationship and sometimes they rather ‘pay’ the high price for a ‘relationship’ with a prostitute so they get what they want. And there is no doubt, if they are in a ‘normal’ relationship or even married, eventually it will make their relationship or even their marriages suffer.
Some men seek relationships in which they can let go, freely express themselves with their desires. They don’t have to worry, feel guilty or even lie to a partner/wife, so they seek the freedom of a relationship with a prostitute.
And there are also ‘business’ men, for some of them these issues are slightly heightened. Of course, we can argue about it, but they are accustomed to wielding power. They are used to ‘using’ others and they expect others to ‘serve’ their needs. In the world they live in, no one gives anything without the expectation in getting something back. They claim that everybody wants a piece of them. In their world, (well, in the healthiest of cases), they feel that at home they can be themselves being with their families, feel accepted and loved without conditions. But than it happens, too often their marriages and family lives have to take a backseat to their careers. Their marriage looses purpose, it no longer functions as havens of mutual exchange, connection, love and passion… and THAN, the sex-life is on zero… here he goes, he finds a prostitute… pays in advance and he can enjoy the fantasy, whatever it is, whatever he wants, his immediate pleasure is ‘her‘ sole aim, which ‘she’ pursues ’happily’. He does not have to do anything for anybody during the time he is with ‘her’. He is the most important person.
What motivates the individual man to do the very thing we call ‘stupid’? What makes them so destructive to themselves and others? Is it their anxiety? The conflicts they suffer at home? That they can freely express themselves and their desires? Or is it the longings not to have to do anything for anyone?
