Aug
09
Posted by Luvy Love
Mother and Daughter, The Other Relationship
Submitted by Anne Hoesch
Everything I write is purely from my own point of view so it may not make sense to everyone else. I was thinking the other day, after disccussing this subject with a friend of mine, how complicated the mother/daughter relationship can be!
When my son was born he was already special in his own right, he was my first born. My first experience with a full term pregnancy, and all the ups and downs that go with it. He had, from the moment he was born, his rightful place in my life and in my heart and he will always be special to me.
Later though, when I thought about having another child, I realised how much I longed for a little girl. Someone who would be a minature, mini “me”. Someone I could dress up and spoil, and share all those feminine thoughts with that males just dont understand. “A soulsister”!
As it so happened I was very lucky that my second child was just that. A beautiful little girl who looked like her grandmother, but with curly hair (me again 
. I remember still how thrilled her father and I were, because apart from anything else, we were not planning other children so that this little girl just made our lives perfect.
Over the years of course it has not all been smooth sailing. My daughter and I have had plenty of fights. And tears. And misunderstandings. But we have a unique closeness. We understand each other. Our simple “femaleness” bonds us together in a way that can’t (I think) happen between mothers and sons, no matter how close they are. My daughter and I are on the same wavelength. The screaming and shouting matches are something we both need in our “female world”. They rock the boat, and afterwards we realise how great it is to sometimes be able to let off steam with someone who is going to love you anyway. Nothing can break this bond between us.
I have always felt this affinity with all things female. I quess men feel the same about other males. This basic understanding of what’s going on in their heads without having to ask. Sharing the same experiences of life.
For us girls of course, periods (the horror!), the first date. The first love. The first sexual experience. Weddings and then of course having our babies. I believe that we see our daughters as an extension of ourselves and that we want to protect them from all that can hurt them in life. From making the same mistakes (that we feel) we made in our own lives. Of course, this naturally leads to tensions and fights. It’s ok though and its the most natural relationship in the world. Girls are carrying on the cycle, our lives lived again as their lives. We speak the same language and experience the same emotions. Some would call this hormones, but I prefer to see it in a wider sense. How often do we hear people say “oh you dont get on because youre just too much alike!!” This is very true of the mother/daughter conflicts that can arise because we have been down this road and with the hindsight of experience we “know better”. In trying to protect our baby girls we tell her so. Naturally they don’t appreciate our wisdom and consequently the female feathers fly!!
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that no matter what problems we may have with our daughters, the relationship is unique. It’s very, very special and there is nothing which can change that, but we have to take a step back and let go a little when our daughters are struggling to become her own woman.
I once read a book about the relationships and affinities between all the women of the world which refered to us all as “sisters”. To me, the mother/daughter relationship is probably the most precious, and also, the most volatile of them all.
Jul
31
Posted by Luvy Love
Is Sex Necessary?
Some time ago I came across the article “Is Sex Necessary?”. Reading it again I can only say we all better “get on with it”.
Having regular as well as enthusiastic sex confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, no matter if you are male or female. Of course, that is assuming that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
Having sex even just a few times a week has an associative or connecting relationship with the following:
* Improved sense of smell
* Reduced risk of heart disease
* Weight loss, overall fitness
* Reduced depression
* Pain-relief
* Less-frequent colds and flu
* Better bladder control
* Better teeth
* Even a happier prostate?
Question is, is there such a thing as too much sex? In purely physiological terms, the answer is this: If you’re female, probably not. If you’re male? You betcha.
See the Original Is Sex Necessary Article at Forbes.com
Apr
20
Posted by Luvy Love
Am I Supposed to be Nude?
There are no real “ground rules” or norms when it comes to having a massage in a medical setting. Usually the massage therapist will leave the room so that you can (in your own time) remove your clothing before you lie on the massage table under the top sheet (normally face down). There is no need for you to rush or worry that your therapist walks in on you, as he/she will always knock and ask if you are ready before coming into the room.
There is of course the question whether to take off your underwear during a massage? It is up to you. Many people keep their knickers/briefs/panties on. Some prefer to be completely nude. Sometimes tight-fitting underwear gets in the way of massage work, especially if your problem areas are your lower back, hips, buttocks, or groin. A thong for women or briefs for men should do the trick.
In some countries such as North America, a licensed massage therapists must make sure that you are always properly covered by a sheet or towel if you do remove all of your clothes and ONLY the area which is being massaged will be uncovered.
About tipping, I have asked some massage therapists and also associations/boards, but they said tipping isn’t appropriate in a medical or clinical setting. There is no reason though why you can’t show your appreciation by referring friends, family or even work colleagues. It would be different if you get a massage at a spa or maybe a hotel. If you were pleased and like to tip, a 15-20% tip is the going rate, but than after all, it is up to you.
You do not have to make conversation with the massage therapist. Some people prefer to talk throughout the massage though. It is up to you. I think it is best to shut up, close your eyes, enjoy! That’s what most people do and it is the most relaxing. You’re having a treatment after all and you’re not at a cocktail party!
But, be sure to say
If the room is too hot or too cold
Should you experience pain for some reason
Or if you have any questions related to the massage
And of course, if there’s anything you forgot to mention during the consultation, don’t hesitate to be open about it. There is also no reason why you should experience pain during your massage. It is a myth that it is only effective when you experience pain. A lot of the most effective types of massage therapies are gentle. They don’t even involve deep pressure. In fact, too much pressure can be the cause for muscles to seize up.
So what if you are self-conscious about a particular part of your body? That happens and people are self-conscious for different reasons.
Some of the most common reasons are:
Weight issues – overweight
Excessive hair growth on the body
Acne – spots – skin conditions
Feet – I found that a lot of people have issues with their feet
People also seem to have issues with scars
We are all a little self-conscious at times, but I think it should never stop you from seeking health care. Be it visiting doctors or seeing an alternative practitioner. Still, you can always ask the therapist to avoid a particular area, if you are bothered by it. Or how about choosing a therapy where the treatment is done without the use of oils or lotions, where you remain fully dressed such as shiatsu or Tai massage?
We are all different, have our preferences. Some men don’t feel comfortable being massaged by a male therapist. Some of the reasons may be outdated social media or maybe even of fear of getting an erection during the massage. By touch anywhere on the body, the parasympathetic nervous system is stimulated and activated, therefore erection is a normal, common physiological response that happens. Nothing really to worry about!
How about women? Some prefer female massage therapists as they say they feel more comfortable. I have had massages of male and female massage therapists and thought about it and personally I don’t really have a preference. I think it is the mood I am in when I receive massages that make the difference in therapists.
It’s a bit disappointing that so many have preconceptions, as unfortunately men who decide for a massage profession are often not prepared for the discrimination they face when clients request female over male therapists, clinics and spas stop employing them, and it does not matter how skilled they are.
Personal thought:
How about challenging your preconceptions by asking to meet the therapist before booking an appointment?